Y'know...sometimes it's hard to know exactly what to do all the time. One part of you is telling you to go one way, while the other is telling you to go another and then there you are trying to figure out which way is going to get you the, overall, better result. But then, on the other hand, there also lies the problem in itself over what type of "result" are you actually looking for? In then sense, if your friends are doing one thing that you're not necissarily accustomed to or just don't really feel comfortable doing...so then you're troubled with the burden of trying to decide who you're trying to impress here: yourself? or your friends? Now, normally...a person wouldn't be too concerned about "impressing" him(/her)self, so their choices are usually based over what is seen to be "acceptable" in others' eyes. What they don't realize is just how much better they will feel about themselves if they follow their innitial instinct and just do what feels most comfortable for them. Now, i realize that i'm usually one who doesn't look too highly on "selfishness" or just doing things for your own benefit...but when it comes to the question of a person's own set goals of morailty and their belief system...those personal goals should, at all times, come before any pressures or personal habits that are introduced to you by anyone else, no matter how much you know them, trust them, whatever. If it doesn't coincide with the goals that you have set for yourself...it's not worth the trouble of compromising your own beliefs to make your friend "happy."

It took awhile to realize this. Sure, i had people lecturing me constantly about this, that and the other...and that's fine. But sometimes, i think people need to realize, too, that I know what I'm doing. I knew what i was doing wasn't right, I knew that what i was doing was basically going against every personal goal i had set for myself, ever. And i knew that by keeping up what i was doing, wasn't going to take me any place "good." So everything that people were saying that fell along those lines...it was no different than having to listen to a scratched CD. Sound fun? not quite.
But anyway, only til i finally did get time to just sit down and really think about things, was i really able to start making changes in my life. So this is my toast to, finally, being able to find myself and get myself back on the right track. I've traveled some bumpy roads, but I have realized that it only makes it more difficult to walk with my eyes closed

So anyway, now that my eyes have been opened and i'm able to make decisions for myself...things have been going a lot better. I've stopped doing everything that i had been doing before and i'm starting over. And i've learned that life is so much better when you don't depend on other things/people to make you happy. Happiness comes from within...you just need to figure out how to set it free.

But that's all i have to say for tonight. So Have a Wonderful Morning and remember that your choices are your own...don't let others make them for you.
Always
~Nichole